PTown...oh PTown

In a town where off season a mere 3000 souls make their home can up to 100,000 gay/lesbian invade in the sunny months for vacation, holidays, weddings and more. This 2x3mile peninsula is the summer home to Drag Queens, Bears, Otters, Twinks, Trannies, Muscle Boys, Domestic Gays, and even their brave (claiming to be) straight counterparts.

This week was fantastic. I had the wonderful pleasure of catching up with old friends, rekindle some malnourished friendships, watch new found love blossom, and even make a number of amazing new friends.

I spent the days on bike rides, at the pool side, or on the beach. I spent my evenings at beach parties, video bars, and even caught a famous risqué comedy show. I got spiritus pizza at 3 am and watched my friends devastate their Blondie's Burgers and Sweet potato fries. And after all that still found time to take a midnight dip in the ocean once or twice.

But now my week of carefree summer freedom must come to an end...I must pack up that old north face pack, roll up my beach gear and take my newly bronzed skin home, and back to reality.

I want to thank Provincetown for the memories it has allowed me to make, the friends who made my time here amazing, and the new beginnings that will come from the people I met.

James, Martin, Brian, Matt, Tom, Kevin, Chris, Stephen, Dan, Jessie, Rafael, Patrick, Nate, Alex, Mike, Kris, Ben, Scottie, Will, & Jordan....


I love you all.

Ter

The Twelve Steps of Being a "Wing Hag"

So this Tuesday I thought to give a shout out to all the Fag Hags that make our lives that much better with their platonic, almost creepy at times, love and knowledge of their Gay Male counterparts.

Here are the 12 Steps:

Step 1: Your Hag swoops in after that bad week at work, bad break up with Mr. Oh-So-Wrong, (that she only tolerated because for a period of time you were happy with him) and gets you pumped of and drags (often literally) you out on a night you don't want to and probably shouldn't go out, for some adventure that will end in some odd, colorful, and/or risque way.

Step 2: She treats you like her own personal Life Size Ken doll. She dresses you, and/or criticizes, critiques, or alters your choice of attire without mercy, or the fear of cutting down whats left of your fragile emotions, because she knows you will thank her for it later.

Step 3: She plans the evening meticulously and in its entirety. If home, your favorite clubs, bars, lounges, or if abroad she researches venues that will maximize the focus of ensuring you have a simply FABULOUS time.

Step 4: Upon arrival at the chosen destination(s), She swiftly using her Cheetara (Yes the minx from ThunderCats) like reflexes scouts out the most opportune vantage points in which to gaze, identify, judge, and finally stalk potential prey to be the victims of this social/romantic excursion.

Step 5: She continually supplies you with copious amounts of liquid courage/social lubricant, in order to make you most relax and susceptible to the penetrating gaze of that guy in the baseball T-shirt (or whatever tickles your fancy) at the bar.

Step 6: Throughout the evening she periodically and subtly reinforces your self-esteem.  She does this by pointing out the flaws of your most recent fling (who you probably bring up every 3.47 sentences). She does this hoping the inflation of your ego causes you to lower your shields and power down you defensive batteries in order to push you to make First Contact.

Step 7: When this self-esteem boosting fails and you are still at Red Alert (which is the case 92.76% of the time) She uses her 'Hag-Swagger' to strike up a conversation then initiate a bombardment of compliment ordinance (in your favor) at the designated man target.

Step 8: If designated target seem acceptable, and susceptible to receiving further interaction, she causally inserts you both physically and verbally into the social exchange (CONTACT!). 

Step 9: She offers/insists that you buy another round for the trio (in order to show your interest and generosity, if the target hasn't taken the chance himself already) and move this shit show to the dance floor.

Step 10: When/If the time is right the Hag will summon her mystical ninja abilities to vanish, often unnoticed, allowing you and your prize to dance/mingle and explore each-other without that awkward 3rd wheel notion taking effect. If necessary, she will go so far to find her own way home in order to not interrupt the chemistry effectively  maximizing the evenings possibilities after last call.

Step 11: The following morning (but never before 1100 hours) she will appear/arrive/or meet up with you, hangover cures in tow. Once the said man target has departed for home, she will commence the debriefing of the previous night's transgressions in graphic detail.

Step 12: If/When this man target becomes a proverbial lemon, or a dead beat future Mr. Ex-Boyfriend. She simply rinses and repeats these steps till Bliss and Happiness envelops her Gay counterpart. Then she can turn her attention to her new tasks, planning your wedding/commitment ceremony, and picking out meticulously matching school outfits for you adoptive Asian twin girls.

And that my friends is a True 'Wing-Hag'

"With fronds like these who needs Anenomes"

Friends are nothing to be laughed at. However, lately I have been criticized in a few ways for not only having too many friends, but putting my friends first in certain situations and we all have had that point in a relationship where your significant other makes you think: "To me. Coming from you. Friend is a four letter word.." This boggles my mind. My close friends, those people everyone has that they can call to be there when even the person you share your life with isn't. I could be wrong but my friends are just as important if not more important than a romantic relationship in many ways, and before you get your hair/weave in a tizzy breath and hear my argument out and perhaps if you don't see things they way I do you will at least respect my opinion.

First off, growing up, outside of our family what is the first relationship we create? A friend, a school pal, Hell many children manifest their own imaginative person to be their companion. This person or mental apparition becomes our confidant, knowing our most intimate of intimates even as a child. You tell this other being whether, corporal or conjured, things you wouldn't tell your mother. Which as many have quoted in the past "Mother is God in the eyes of a child". But this being transcends even mother. Later growing up you will defy 'Mother' at times to be with friends they don't approve of, friends she thinks are 'bad influences'. Well mother, just an FYI...I was the bad influence ;-)

As we grow and progress in life we might lose track of some friends, they might move off to college and never return, or you might be the one to take a longer path away from home. But what is the first thing we do when we move to a new neighborhood, a new city, or even a new country? We attempt to make a friend. We try to create a supportive relationship, then over time a group of supportive relationships. It is these platonic bonds that I believe allow for us to have the strength to develop more romantic relationships. The best friend who plays your 'wing man', your 'counselor', your 'conscience'. They are the ones that break the ice (by sometimes literally pushing you into them nearly knocking them over) between you and the cute guy dancing across the bar looking at you but your too chicken shit to introduce yourself.

These close friends are the ones that text you asking 'Can we have a night to play video games and watch movies with just us' when your 27years old because like you they will never completely grow up. The ones who when they think they might have upset you, or disrespected you call 100x worrying you are upset only to find out that you already know what happened, have forgiven, and are planning the next time to see them. These friends are my relationships. I have held them when they lost a parent or friend, consoled them and talked them through a bad break up, been their for them when they were tearing their hair out studying for the GRE's, MCATs, or Bar Exam. Carried them home the nights they drank to much and sleeping beside them incase they got sick in the night (because you'd rather get puked on then lose them). I do this because, they have, and would do this for me.

So when in a romantic relationship, I feel it should not only be a desire, but a responsibility for you to make the time away from your lover to see the ones who love you and will be their for you if and when the lover is gone. I feel that people who shut themselves out of the world when they find a special someone are doing nothing but disrespecting the ones that love them without the need for a romantic relationship, and if you do this enough, and the time comes when you need them they might not be there. You might have broken platonic hearts, missed birthdays, dinners, parties, and other events because you were to self absorbed in your own relationship. Then the day comes when you are single lonely and realize "Shit, I have no friends, because I was a terrible one". So next time your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/spouse or even that ugly word 'PARTNER' (I find that term so distasteful and some sad attempt for people who don't understand same sex relationships to segregate people further), wants to go out and have a guys/girls night, weekend, vacation you let them. You squeeze them tight when they leave and say 'have fun'. Honestly it will only make a romantic relationship stronger when you take care of the platonic relationships in your life.

I do not pretend to think that some don't people go to far and neglect the romantic relationship in their lives for the platonic ones at times, but like everything in this world, and every other, life only exists when their is proper balance. So see your friends a couple nights/days a week. Spend time alone with someone special the same amount of time, and don't forget to spend time with yourself, or just like any friend you might lose them to.


Love is Love, whether it happens in a platonic, or romantic relationship. I love my friends, and no one is going to 'break us up' if I have anything to say about it.


I love you guys

Today is gonna be the day That they're gonna throw it back to you...

By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do.

Another week, another Tuesday....and this one is gloomy, cool, and expecting rain. Many will find it harder to wake today, harder to find motivation in their routine, and maybe even a little more difficult to put on a smile. However, I strongly advise against this. Poor an extra cup of coffee, force out a smile, put on a bright shirt (My choice was a baby blue Polo Sweater, :-P). If you make the effort to put that spring in your step that might be lacking you won't believe the results! And if you don't believe me, here is a few reasons why you should put on a smile, even when it hurts...

1. Forcing yourself to smile can boost your mood: Psychologists have found that even if you’re in bad mood, you can instantly lift your spirits by forcing yourself to smile.
2. It boosts your immune system: Smiling really can improve your physical health, too. Your body is more relaxed when you smile, which contributes to good health and a stronger immune system.
3. Smiles are contagious: It’s not just a saying: smiling really is contagious, scientists say. In a study conducted in Sweden, people had difficulty frowning when they looked at other subjects who were smiling, and their muscles twitched into smiles all on their own.
4. Smiles Relieve Stress: Your body immediately releases endorphins when you smile, even when you force it. This sudden change in mood will help you feel better and release stress.
5. It’s easier to smile than to frown: Scientists have discovered that your body has to work harder and use more muscles to frown than it does to smile.
6. It’s a universal sign of happiness: While hand shakes, hugs, and bows all have varying meanings across cultures, smiling is known around the world and in all cultures as a sign of happiness and acceptance.
7. We still smile at work: While we smile less at work than we do at home, 30% of subjects in a research study smiled five to 20 times a day, and 28% smiled over 20 times per day at the office.
8. Smiles use from 5 to 53 facial muscles: Just smiling can require your body to use up to 53 muscles, but some smiles only use 5 muscle movements.
9. Babies are born with the ability to smile: Babies learn a lot of behaviors and sounds from watching the people around them, but scientists believe that all babies are born with the ability, since even blind babies smile.
10. Smiling helps you get promoted: Smiles make a person seem more attractive, sociable and confident, and people who smile more are more likely to get a promotion.
11. Smiles are the most easily recognizable facial expression: People can recognize smiles from up to 300 feet away, making it the most easily recognizable facial expression.
12. Women smile more than men: Generally, women smile more than men, but when they participate in similar work or social roles, they smile the same amount. This finding leads scientists to believe that gender roles are quite flexible. Boy babies, though, do smile less than girl babies, who also make more eye contact.
13. Smiles are more attractive than makeup: A research study conducted by Orbit Complete discovered that 69% of people find women more attractive when they smile than when they are wearing makeup.
14. There are 19 different types of smiles: UC-San Francisco researcher identified 19 types of smiles and put them into two categories: polite “social” smiles which engage fewer muscles, and sincere “felt” smiles that use more muscles on both sides of the face.
15. Babies start smiling as newborns: Most doctors believe that real smiles occur when babies are awake at the age of four-to-six weeks, but babies start smiling in their sleep as soon as they’re born.

 So in other words, just smile! You might just meet the man/woman of your dreams because you were sitting there on a gloomy day smiling your silly ass off!

I'll catch you on the flip side Kiddoz

"It's not you, or me, its Us"

Break ups. We all have them. Some end with a dramatic flare, a screaming match, a horrid fight, while others, are that silent cessation of hostilities, that gaze between two souls which simply says in quiet acceptance...it's over.

'It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all' has been said many times, and at times I feel like finding the person that coined that phrase and shaking them violently. Other times I agree completely. Throughout my adult life I have had a few long term relationships. Some strong, some weak, but at times all very much filled with love.

The hardest part about relationships starts with social views and acceptance from our own friends/family. Not only do you have to go through the trouble of finding someone that makes you happy, but that your friends, family, and even random strangers must approve of when your seen together. This whole thought of 'types' tends to not make sense to me. I have had boyfriends that ranged from independent, social, self sufficient, extroverts, to ones that are clingy, needy, co-dependent, introverts. They were a mix of nurses, teachers, bankers, dorks, techies, jocks, frat boys, etc. Each personality type has its pros, and its cons, but each individual brought something new to my life that helped me grow as a person.

I know at times some of my friends/family didn't approve, understand, or just simply didn't like the relationship I was in but to be honest, it's none of their damn business. Who are they to judge the person, or persons that I find happiness with. I will be the first to admit, that I have been a culprit of this myself at times. Chatting at a bar with friends, people watching, and discussing our disapproval of a new couple, or at a relationship we felt was not the right match, or simply doomed at that the start. But, recently I do my best to bite my tongue and just allow people to be happy with whomever they choose. This world is filled with hardship, stress, war, famine, disease, danger, and a plethora of ways to become a victim, so why would should I want to disrupt someones happiness while they have it? All that would do is open the door to someone to disrupt my next relationship and all I can do is blame karma for handing me back my bullshit.

 I believe people have the right to their opinion, that they can make their case to someone why a relationship between two people shouldn't be, but short of fear for someones mental, emotional, or physical health we have to stop getting in the way. If a relationship is not meant to be it will end, you don't need to help it along that path. Perhaps it's just peoples insecurities with their own relationships, and a bit of jealousy stirred into a smooth cocktail of longing for something meaningful in our own lives. But for me its all about the love.

I think seeing any couple in love is amazing, uplifting, beautiful. I have my weak moments where I find myself with a shit eating grin starring at a cute couple lost in each other oblivious of a crowded bar drunkenly shrieking  around them. It's those moments I don't wish I had that connection, or think 'he's not right for him', but I bask in the emotional wake they admit to their surroundings, thinking: "remember when I was with him, and we felt that way", and even for a moment, standing there single, alone, with an empty arm I am happy through someone else. I can recall the times with every relationship I have had of pure bliss, where I was enamored. I know I'll have that again with someone, or even a few more times in my life, and for that reason strangers in love make me happy.

so let live, and let love.

Love, Actually is, All Around

Happy Firday y'all

 

"Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet."

What is it with rain? People seem to hate it, fear it, or blame it for so many woes. Me however, I love the rain. Though I don't follow her generations ties to religion, I had an older female relative who use to tell me, 'God is in the rain'. Later I had a brief moment of the chills when I first saw the film adaptation of the graphic novel V-for-Vendetta, when Eve Hammond's character states the same line. But I think the point is still there, The rain is special, amazing, creates so much positive things in our world. I LOVE the rain.

and really?

Some of my best memories, and moments happened on rainy days. My first kiss, weekends in with someone special cozening up to movies on the couch, days home growing up playing flashlight tag, and watching scary movies with all 8 of my siblings in a dark spooky hows on stormy nights when mom and dad where off at some charity event (Many baby sitters only lasted 1 event with us). Swimming on the lakes in New Hampshire in the summer during a summer shower, nights in a hot tub feeling the cold rain drops pierce my shoulders and crystallize my exposed hair

These moments and sensations have given me a seemly strange connection with rain, or perhaps if you follow astrological signs my Capricorn/earthy nature feels most at balance when in the presence of its opposite counterpart. Earth requires Rain in order to allow plans to grow, to feed the animals who's bodies eventually decay and fertilize the soil, in a never ending cycle of balance. Rain is my balance. I am a sunny day loving, outdoorzy guy who every so often wants that stormy rainy day to stay in, grab a good book, a flick, maybe some delicious and extremely unhealthy meal, and hopefully someone special, to just share a period of balance. Unwind, let the rain wash away whats past, bring new growth, new beginnings.

So the next time you are sad on a  rainy day. just think positively about it;  “Being soaked alone is cold. Being soaked with your best friend is an adventure.”

So next time make it an adventure :-)

It's all about ME!

So it's really just all about me! Really! it is!, well it is my Blog damn it!

So I know people hate them, no one really thinks about it till they are staring blankly at a screen on one of newest of the plethora of social networking/hookup/dating-sites/Apps...

How do I describe myself!?!? It never sounds as big of a task till you do it! How do you tell someone all about you in a few lines of digital code without being to vulnerable, too snotty, slutty, uptight, conceded, etc while sounding interesting, fun, exciting (cause face it no one wants to be with a truly BORING person), caring person?

So I figured...

why not just do it on here, Explore who I really am, say the parts that some might not like, some may hate, and others may love. Show the world it doesn't have to be such a chore to open up and describe yourself. No one is perfect


So here goes,

It's all about me.

I am loud, and just when you think I can't get any louder I do...but I am one of the quieter ones in my family. I am a comedian, a jester of sorts, some find my jokes inappropriate, rude, mean even, but I love my sense of humor. I love attention, being surrounded by friends, family, and even strangers, mingling, chatting, and just having a good time...But I hate being on stage. I am deathly afraid of being in the spot light, yet I am often asked to join a forum and speak, present, or make an announcement.

In a different light however, I value, demand, and expect my alone, private, and even somewhat secretive times to myself. Whether its simply staying in all day playing video games with my dog at my side, or wandering the world around me finding new places to bring a friend to another day, or using the chaos of the streets with its noise and constant movement to get lost in my own mind and find myself hidden under all the daily routines and stress.

I eat extremely healthy. I love fine cooking/dining, but shop frugally. I can make anything from Duck A l'Orange to hamburger helper, however most of my diet consists of Fruits, Vegetables, Lean Protein, and almost Zero Gluten and Processed sugar, but will gorge myself on sushi! However, despite rarely if ever eating candy, one small Dark Chocolate Dove piece can brighten even the shittiest of days, or a night of grilled cheese and tomato soup in bed watching movies can melt away the bullshit that piles on top of me during my day. OH! and on rare occasion you will find me wandering the Magical World of Disney chowing on one those amazing turkey legs as I channel my inner Tyrannosaurus RAWR!

I am afraid of the dark, and of heights. I also am deathly afraid of waking up one day to find myself utterly alone.

I am a hopeless romantic who can be called emotionally cold at the same time (yes a loaded statement, I know). I dream up dream dates, love doing simple things to surprise someone, after all that's what I remember about people, the little things. I want nothing more than to find a soul mate and get married, however I am skeptical, cautious, and definitely not going to hold my breath for that day.

I laugh at inappropriate things.

I am a dork, but I have never played dungeons and dragons (sorry guys) I am a sucker for Sci-Fi, Thrillers, Horrors, and Suspenseful films/Games. I still have Legos (granted they are scaled replicas of famous buildings but they make me happy when I have the time to build a miniature sky scrapper in my apartment). I use to play the World of Warcraft...while maintaining an active social life, real job, and not weighing in over 350lbs (Eat that stereo types!).

I am stubborn. I like my world and your going to have to be a special person to make me change my routine or way to suit yours, but it has happened.

I love pets, dogs, cats, snakes, birds, etc

I go to the gym a lot. usually 5-7days a week, but I hate going with someone. When I am there I am there to work my ass off, sweat like crazy, and I look like shit doing it. I make up my exercises on the spot some times and having someone there can often get on my nerves. I use to be a fat kid, and I will forever see myself as that fat unhappy child, its not a healthy outlook but I admit that I will probably never be satisfied with my physical appearance.

I drive fast, and I have fun doing it!

I forgive people to easily. I always try and find the good part of someone or a situation, I am often positive at bleak moments, but like anyone can be a victim of despair. 

I rarely cry but when I do I want to be held, even though I date people who usually are much smaller than me. I can be the big or the little spoon, but cuddling makes me warm and sweaty so it sadly doesn't last long.

My favorite colors are Purple and Green...but I rarely wear green. I love nature, hiking and being outdoors, though I could never seem myself living in the country. My style is a mix; traditional meets cold modern/contemporary. I could have an antique next to a stainless steel fixture...as long as it looked like it worked.

I am me...and its all about me!


Have an excellent :P