"It's not you, or me, its Us"

Break ups. We all have them. Some end with a dramatic flare, a screaming match, a horrid fight, while others, are that silent cessation of hostilities, that gaze between two souls which simply says in quiet acceptance...it's over.

'It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all' has been said many times, and at times I feel like finding the person that coined that phrase and shaking them violently. Other times I agree completely. Throughout my adult life I have had a few long term relationships. Some strong, some weak, but at times all very much filled with love.

The hardest part about relationships starts with social views and acceptance from our own friends/family. Not only do you have to go through the trouble of finding someone that makes you happy, but that your friends, family, and even random strangers must approve of when your seen together. This whole thought of 'types' tends to not make sense to me. I have had boyfriends that ranged from independent, social, self sufficient, extroverts, to ones that are clingy, needy, co-dependent, introverts. They were a mix of nurses, teachers, bankers, dorks, techies, jocks, frat boys, etc. Each personality type has its pros, and its cons, but each individual brought something new to my life that helped me grow as a person.

I know at times some of my friends/family didn't approve, understand, or just simply didn't like the relationship I was in but to be honest, it's none of their damn business. Who are they to judge the person, or persons that I find happiness with. I will be the first to admit, that I have been a culprit of this myself at times. Chatting at a bar with friends, people watching, and discussing our disapproval of a new couple, or at a relationship we felt was not the right match, or simply doomed at that the start. But, recently I do my best to bite my tongue and just allow people to be happy with whomever they choose. This world is filled with hardship, stress, war, famine, disease, danger, and a plethora of ways to become a victim, so why would should I want to disrupt someones happiness while they have it? All that would do is open the door to someone to disrupt my next relationship and all I can do is blame karma for handing me back my bullshit.

 I believe people have the right to their opinion, that they can make their case to someone why a relationship between two people shouldn't be, but short of fear for someones mental, emotional, or physical health we have to stop getting in the way. If a relationship is not meant to be it will end, you don't need to help it along that path. Perhaps it's just peoples insecurities with their own relationships, and a bit of jealousy stirred into a smooth cocktail of longing for something meaningful in our own lives. But for me its all about the love.

I think seeing any couple in love is amazing, uplifting, beautiful. I have my weak moments where I find myself with a shit eating grin starring at a cute couple lost in each other oblivious of a crowded bar drunkenly shrieking  around them. It's those moments I don't wish I had that connection, or think 'he's not right for him', but I bask in the emotional wake they admit to their surroundings, thinking: "remember when I was with him, and we felt that way", and even for a moment, standing there single, alone, with an empty arm I am happy through someone else. I can recall the times with every relationship I have had of pure bliss, where I was enamored. I know I'll have that again with someone, or even a few more times in my life, and for that reason strangers in love make me happy.

so let live, and let love.

Love, Actually is, All Around

Happy Firday y'all

 

"Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet."

What is it with rain? People seem to hate it, fear it, or blame it for so many woes. Me however, I love the rain. Though I don't follow her generations ties to religion, I had an older female relative who use to tell me, 'God is in the rain'. Later I had a brief moment of the chills when I first saw the film adaptation of the graphic novel V-for-Vendetta, when Eve Hammond's character states the same line. But I think the point is still there, The rain is special, amazing, creates so much positive things in our world. I LOVE the rain.

and really?

Some of my best memories, and moments happened on rainy days. My first kiss, weekends in with someone special cozening up to movies on the couch, days home growing up playing flashlight tag, and watching scary movies with all 8 of my siblings in a dark spooky hows on stormy nights when mom and dad where off at some charity event (Many baby sitters only lasted 1 event with us). Swimming on the lakes in New Hampshire in the summer during a summer shower, nights in a hot tub feeling the cold rain drops pierce my shoulders and crystallize my exposed hair

These moments and sensations have given me a seemly strange connection with rain, or perhaps if you follow astrological signs my Capricorn/earthy nature feels most at balance when in the presence of its opposite counterpart. Earth requires Rain in order to allow plans to grow, to feed the animals who's bodies eventually decay and fertilize the soil, in a never ending cycle of balance. Rain is my balance. I am a sunny day loving, outdoorzy guy who every so often wants that stormy rainy day to stay in, grab a good book, a flick, maybe some delicious and extremely unhealthy meal, and hopefully someone special, to just share a period of balance. Unwind, let the rain wash away whats past, bring new growth, new beginnings.

So the next time you are sad on a  rainy day. just think positively about it;  “Being soaked alone is cold. Being soaked with your best friend is an adventure.”

So next time make it an adventure :-)