Friends are nothing to be laughed at. However, lately I have been criticized in a few ways for not only having too many friends, but putting my friends first in certain situations and we all have had that point in a relationship where your significant other makes you think: "To me. Coming from you. Friend is a four letter word.." This boggles my mind. My close friends, those people everyone has that they can call to be there when even the person you share your life with isn't. I could be wrong but my friends are just as important if not more important than a romantic relationship in many ways, and before you get your hair/weave in a tizzy breath and hear my argument out and perhaps if you don't see things they way I do you will at least respect my opinion.
First off, growing up, outside of our family what is the first relationship we create? A friend, a school pal, Hell many children manifest their own imaginative person to be their companion. This person or mental apparition becomes our confidant, knowing our most intimate of intimates even as a child. You tell this other being whether, corporal or conjured, things you wouldn't tell your mother. Which as many have quoted in the past "Mother is God in the eyes of a child". But this being transcends even mother. Later growing up you will defy 'Mother' at times to be with friends they don't approve of, friends she thinks are 'bad influences'. Well mother, just an FYI...I was the bad influence ;-)
As we grow and progress in life we might lose track of some friends, they might move off to college and never return, or you might be the one to take a longer path away from home. But what is the first thing we do when we move to a new neighborhood, a new city, or even a new country? We attempt to make a friend. We try to create a supportive relationship, then over time a group of supportive relationships. It is these platonic bonds that I believe allow for us to have the strength to develop more romantic relationships. The best friend who plays your 'wing man', your 'counselor', your 'conscience'. They are the ones that break the ice (by sometimes literally pushing you into them nearly knocking them over) between you and the cute guy dancing across the bar looking at you but your too chicken shit to introduce yourself.
These close friends are the ones that text you asking 'Can we have a night to play video games and watch movies with just us' when your 27years old because like you they will never completely grow up. The ones who when they think they might have upset you, or disrespected you call 100x worrying you are upset only to find out that you already know what happened, have forgiven, and are planning the next time to see them. These friends are my relationships. I have held them when they lost a parent or friend, consoled them and talked them through a bad break up, been their for them when they were tearing their hair out studying for the GRE's, MCATs, or Bar Exam. Carried them home the nights they drank to much and sleeping beside them incase they got sick in the night (because you'd rather get puked on then lose them). I do this because, they have, and would do this for me.
So when in a romantic relationship, I feel it should not only be a desire, but a responsibility for you to make the time away from your lover to see the ones who love you and will be their for you if and when the lover is gone. I feel that people who shut themselves out of the world when they find a special someone are doing nothing but disrespecting the ones that love them without the need for a romantic relationship, and if you do this enough, and the time comes when you need them they might not be there. You might have broken platonic hearts, missed birthdays, dinners, parties, and other events because you were to self absorbed in your own relationship. Then the day comes when you are single lonely and realize "Shit, I have no friends, because I was a terrible one". So next time your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/spouse or even that ugly word 'PARTNER' (I find that term so distasteful and some sad attempt for people who don't understand same sex relationships to segregate people further), wants to go out and have a guys/girls night, weekend, vacation you let them. You squeeze them tight when they leave and say 'have fun'. Honestly it will only make a romantic relationship stronger when you take care of the platonic relationships in your life.
I do not pretend to think that some don't people go to far and neglect the romantic relationship in their lives for the platonic ones at times, but like everything in this world, and every other, life only exists when their is proper balance. So see your friends a couple nights/days a week. Spend time alone with someone special the same amount of time, and don't forget to spend time with yourself, or just like any friend you might lose them to.
Love is Love, whether it happens in a platonic, or romantic relationship. I love my friends, and no one is going to 'break us up' if I have anything to say about it.
I love you guys
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